Well, it’s been a few weeks, I’ve been enjoying my summer, and a little break from posting on the blog, but now I’m back at it.
Yesterday morning, my girlfriend and I went up to Shoreline, just north of Seattle, to visit a Catholic church. I’ve already done a Catholic church, but that one was only a Thursday morning mass, not the full show, and so I’ve been wanting to go to another Catholic church for a while. This one is near a friend’s house, and we were invited up to breakfast after the service, and so it was a good excuse to make the trip. Not that the trip was very far. Shoreline is the city immediately north of Seattle, and we live in the northern part of the city, so it was actually fairly close.
I can’t properly review a Catholic communion because I’m not a believer, and if I did take communion, it would really irritate the Catholics. More than irritate them, it would be a violation of holy law, so it would likely deeply offend them.
Now, I don’t mind irritating people, or even offending them, but only when they deserve it. They don’t deserve it, so unless and until I start believing in saints, I’m never going to taste Catholic Jesus.
Fortunately, there’s a solution at hand. A nice Catholic named Tarah has sent me a review! And I can pass it on to you. Here it is:
Catholic Jesus doesn’t taste that great. It’s a whole wheat wafer. The wine isn’t that tasty either; it’s box Gallo, probably. Go eat a Carr’s water cracker and some Franzia that’s been sitting out for an hour. I’m telling you this, because out of all the churches you were at, a Catholic church is probably the single one at which you would most hurt some feels if you eat and drink some Jesus if you aren’t Catholic. Do as you see fit; it’s not going to change the state of your soul or mine, bro. Just saying. I wouldn’t go out of your way for the culinary experience. There’s not even any brie.
I attended mass here on an overcast Seattle Thursday morning. The attendance was light, as you might expect a non-primetime service might be. Including me, there were nineteen people present.
It was pretty quick, and it was pretty quiet, I left the house in a hurry because I was a little late, and failed to bring my clipboard and note paper with me, but fortunately, the service was pretty memorable, and had a pretty simple theme, so I really didn’t need notes.
I’m not an expert in Catholicism by any stretch, and this is the second service I’ve ever attended, except a wedding once, over a decade ago, which I have to admit, I was a bit too intoxicated to remember much of.
I don’t know the proper names for things or places in the church, so I hope those of you who do will bear with me. I know that there’s a lot of Catholic-specific jargon, and I won’t be using much of it.